The chief devils met with Satan in hell to devise the destruction of the United States. When did they meet? Well, it was some time ago, but not very long ago.

The question on all their leathery lips was, “How can we destroy America?” After much squealing deliberation, one senior devil spoke up. “Remember, Abraham Lincoln said there was only one way that America could die.” Lincoln said, ‘If it ever reaches us, it must spring up amongst us; it cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of free men, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.’

“So, you see,” the demon said, “if we want to kill America, we must get them to kill themselves.”

The Devil asked, “What do you recommend?”

Came the answer: “As I see it, there are three nation-killing…