Why do you keep coming here?…… Mom ask.  Without giving a seconds thought I replied “This is where you are.”    She just smiled, as much as she could, like it was the most meaningful thing she had heard in a long time.   I was glad I said it.

I saw her in the cafeteria of the Lutheran Senior Services Center at the dinner table.   I walked up behind her, took a chair on the end next to her, just her and me.   She looked up, recognized me just as she always had; she didn’t look the same to me.  A “that isn’t my Mom” thought came to mind.  Her eyes were sunken a reddish pink color.  A hollow look ……..my real Mom isn’t there anymore.  It’s the first time I ever felt that.  She looks lost, defeated.

Just a few days earlier she was ready to go home; but she has more days of rehab., to gain strength back from a short hospital stay.  Maybe she was just having a bad day.  She was tired from rehab.  She couldn’t hold a fork in her hand…..there was silverware on the floor underneath the wheelchair.  What a difference a day makes.

We spent some time talking, only bits and pieces made sense.  I really didn’t want to leave her.   After awhile I got up, rubbed her back and told her I loved her.   As I walked out, all I could see was her face, lost, lonely, but this was a different loneliness than what she has felt since we lost my dad.  I feel helpless.   Maybe tomorrow she’ll be back, I can tell her I love her.

There is no love like a mother’s love.  If you are fortunate enough to still have yours, give her a hug and tell her you love her.   What a difference a day makes.